If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
