Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
