sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
