It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
