if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
