She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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