Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
