Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
