I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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