He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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