No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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