he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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