he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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