I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
