Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
