It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize