i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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