You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize