She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
