this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize