Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
