Me too!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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