quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We left an ass print on the piano.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
