So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
