so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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