coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
