So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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