my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
