the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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