I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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