Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
