Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize