He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
