the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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