The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
