worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
