GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
