hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
