I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
