after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i believe in u and ur pee
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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