That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
