I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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