omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
