He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
