i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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