So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
