Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
