Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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