guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize