you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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