Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
