i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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