i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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