Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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