Too much gin, very little bucket
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
