I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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