He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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