She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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