remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
