so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
