I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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