bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
