how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
