I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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