Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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